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So much to do in such little time. I want to learn more but other things are taking over as prioority. I was reading someones profile today and related to the fact that she always felt different. Brought me back to when I was younger and how I also felt different but had no one to talk to and at that time there was no internet to look up questions and I was always in trouble so getting to a library was impossible at most. Life had different meaning on growing up. Questions about paranormal, vampires, werewolves, witches, druids and so forth were not heard of. Now I am older and forgotten so much that brought me to my curiosity then until my daughter brought this page up. I have had a whole lot of paranormal experiences and still do. I know there is more to it then what I know.l I bought wiccan books and other spell books that were based off of Mother Earth. I tried one or two but nothing happened and then the book was gone so I coouldn't read more and when I tried something always happened. Is it to late for me to learn? Who do I turn to? Where do I look? How much more is out there than any of us especially me know? I was in bad relations all my life so to search more answers was uncalled for unless I wanted a black eye or fat lip so it was all pushed deep down inside. How can I bring it all back up and start again with lessons?

The days run into each other. I am lost within myself. I see you talking but nothing is heard. I look at you but there is only a blur in front of me. I need to meditate in silence and find my peace. I close my eyes and see a person standing in front of me, who is it I am not sure what they want is unknown. Do I trust you and walk with you or should I turn around. Curiosity gets to me so I do not move. We stare in silence only a nod between us. You fade away but I can hear a deep growl. No fear comes from the growl, the wind takes the growl into an echo and then pure silence.

I have always wanted to learn more on the wiccan ways and Mother Earth. Vampires are secretive and alluring. Werewolves intimidating and sexy. Can I be stimulated by all of this or am I just dreaming of what ifs??

I am not a thrilling person. old but intrigued. Wanting to learn willing to listen and able to read upon things. Call my name in the wind and I will hear you. Whisper my name and I will feel it deep within. Scream my name and my heart will flutter. What is going on with me?

My daughter is really into wolves of any sort. There is things she tells me she is preparing for that really only needs to be discussed with her and the person who is helping. i am staying with her right now and the other night I awoke to a bad dream. I know my parents were in it which at times makes me happy and sad (they both have passed on). I need a journal to write these dreams I have to be able to remember them when I fully wake up. I went into the restroom a little dazed wondering about the meaning of the dream but as I walked down the hall, all of a sudden I heard a wolf howl in the distance.

Last night after everyone went to bed, I was able to see glowing bright blue eyes watching me throgh the windows No matter where I went in the house I felt the eyes on me. It only made me nervous not knowing what was out there. I felt no threat and was not scared just a little freaked out.

Long time ago, as it seems, I would hear voices in my head. I knew it was not my own voice, for when I would talk to myself the other voices were still there. I could not hear them clearly or understand them and man it was so irritating. i would yell to stop talking unless they were going to be clear enough for me to understand. I was put on medication for voices but that did not help and told I was schizophrenic. I described how people died once and what they were wearing, people I did not know how is that even possible. I seen people standing in corners, walking down the street, sitting there glaring but yet they were not there. Is something wrong with me for this one thing? No, I blocked it out and now it is time for it to reopen. The wind talks to me, the clouds smile at me, the trees wave at me. This is not the only thing I believe, there is much more but where to go to talk who will believe me besides my kids?

COMMENTS

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BloodRoseTristesseX
06:25 Apr 17 2021

Usually psychosis occurs when you are under immense stress and pressure. Seek the help of a psychiatrist, and do take your meds regularly. You got this shit. I cured myself.. been there, done that. Just keep being positive, and let nature takes her course.

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MystikalMagik
06:46 Apr 17 2021

At the time this happened I was going through a lot but since have come to learn there are things out there that can not be seen only heard. I do believe in the spiritual realm. I know there is more out there then what others want to believe. I do seek the help from a therapist for things and keep my meds when I do remember :) thank you for the believe with me.

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