Linda Ma's services were this past Sunday and Monday... beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.
I am glad (that doesn't sound like the right word) that she is no longer in pain and no longer suffering. Though I will miss her incredibly and facing the future without her is daunting and at times terrifying.
Melissa and I are very lucky. We have a super strong and very close group of friends and family around us. I know we'll make it... but for now it's still raw and tender.
To add inuslt to injury to my emotional pain, Monday we had a freak storm that hit fast and hard here. It took down trees everywhere and knocked out power to over 800,000 people. And then of course it went straight back up to 90 degrees. My poor dog was stuck in the house with no AC all day :(
I am super lucky to have the friends I do. I packed up my pup and spent 2 days with a friend to keep out of the heat and have some light. It was only about an hour ago that our cable, internet, and phones finally came back on.
At this point, I'm just exhausted in every way. I don't even feel up to celebrating my birthday on Saturday... I need a vacation or a mini coma until all this is over.
Yesterday morning, Linda Matheny (or as I know her Ma) passed away after a 5 year battle with ovarian and uterine cancer :(
She was like a 2nd mother to me and one of the most AMAZING women I have ever met. I can't even begin to describe all the wonderful things she did for me and how deeply I loved her. I am truly devastated and already I miss her so much.
I keep expecting her to pop around the corner yell GOTCHA! and perform one of her famous dances. I can't believe she'll never do that for us again...
Grief right now, far outweighs the solace that she is no longer in pain and can, as she put it, "party down in heaven." I know I'll get there... she deserves to rock out in heaven, but for now all I feel is misery and the loss of her here on earth.
RIP Linda Ma, You will be greatly greatly missed and forever loved.
I can't believe this is really happening... again :(
One of my best friends mother has been battling ovarian and uterine cancer for the last 5 years, and we recieved the news today that it has progressed to "N stage primary peritoneal carcinoma with anemia." Which means that the cancer has metastisized and is spreading through the lymph nodes.
I just can't wrap my head around this... She was in a physical rehab center getting BETTER just last week! She was up walking and laughing with us.
This is the second time this has happened. The SECOND. Another best friends mother passed away 9 days before my high school graduation after a 15 year battle with cancer....
She's celebrated birthdays and holiday's with me. Made me my favorite dinner on a random Tuesday just because. I call her MOM because that's what she is to me... and here my birthday is coming up in less than 2 weeks and they tell us that's all she has left. I just can't DEAL with this!
I am miserable and a wreck. I can't stop crying... All I can do is be there for my bestie for whatever she needs, but truth be told this is destroying us both. Her mother has been there... for everything.
I don't want to lose her, I dread it, but I don't want her to suffer anymore :(
I am not the religious type, but all prayers and good thoughts are welcome.
So, we meet again 4th of July. Yes you are so exciting with all your parades, parties, and fireworks... but in this family. WE HATE YOU!
Don't get us wrong, we are not unpatriotic, completely the opposite infact. It's just, you this day, marks 3 almost 4 death's for us.
If you are going to die in this family, you die on the 4th of July. It's becoming a tradition. Not one we try to keep, but somehow we manage too.
Tomorrow I'll have a drink, remember the good times with the family we've lost, have another drink, remember those who lost their lives to keep us safe, toast to those still fighting, watch some fireworks... and hope no one keeps the tradition this year.
COMMENTS
We hate it for another reason. I live with a combat vet and every year people fire their crap with no thought to our returning soldiers who realize it is a holiday but may find it frightening nonetheless. Yesterday someone fired a rocket toward the car and he almost had an accident because he sideslipped through time and thought it was an RPG.
I am very sorry for your losses Sleepy. I hope you have fond remembrances.
**Hugs** Sleepy and hands her a drink and says together we shall get through this..
COMMENTS
-
BeautifulDiscord
02:46 Jul 26 2011
-hugs- wont be like this always.