The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

That lovely herniated disk... has gotten so much worse.



So much so that I spent my Valentine's Day weekend in the hospital.



It's now so out of place it takes up about half of my spinal column almost completely compressing my sciatic nerve.



I've survived a few levels of crazy pain from kidney stones to ovarian cysts twisting to similar nerve pain but this past weekend......



The pain was so bad I was taken to the floor in seconds. Blinding pain barely describes it. I'm usually a very stubborn person who will fight through the pain.... but this was so bad an ambulance had to come and get me because I couldn't even crawl.



Thankfully the hospital I was taken to was very competent, helpful, nice, and to top it off LISTENED to what I had to say.



I was given meds to help with pain and inflammation and then admitted so we could see what was going on.



The next day I was still having immense amounts of pain but I was at least able to stand and shakily walk with a walker so I was scheduled for an MRI.



Personally I don't mind MRI's at all. I can see why a lot of people get claustrophobic in them but for me.... It's a nice warm nap... with I'll grant you... some loud irritating noises.



The scans showed my herniated disk has spilled out even more which is the cause of my pain. "A massive protrusion" is what they said.... and I was given 2 options.



Option A) Epidural steroid shot to relieve the pain, some bed rest, and see if it shrinks (not likely) or can be managed this way.



Option B) Surgery to take some disk out and stuff the rest back into place.



Apparently there was some discord in deciding what to do. Two of my Drs wanted to try the shot first and the other two wanted to jump straight to surgery....



In the end we decided on "both." Try the shot first and see how that goes and only if needed in the future, surgery.



They did say that they believe that I will eventually NEED the surgery. The disk is so bad that no matter what.... it will become a problem.



Luckily enough though the surgery needed is minimal (For the damage that it's causing) and can be done as an outpatient procedure.



So one GIANT needle to the spine later.... I am no longer in any pain. I've always had low level back pain (since the accident in 2007) so to be completely free of that is.... Great and so weird.





I was finally sent home Monday and put on bed rest for the rest of the week and told to take it easy at work for a little bit until I am back to steady sea legs.





This has seriously been an unexpected ordeal... I'd known my back was bad and have had some issues with it... I just didn't expect it to give out on me this soon.

I just can't win. I just started getting things back on track and.... my back goes out.



I have 2 bulging discs in my spine that sit pinching my sciatic nerve that have caused pain and discomfort for years.... but it hasn't been this bad in YEARS! Not since 2007 when I had my fall.



Usually I can take 2 ibprofen, have a nap, stretch a bit and feel better.... but this time I couldn't move.



I couldn't sit up, roll over, anything let alone stand and walk. I was literally stuck in bed.



Which is terrifying because I am totally alone at home. My friends are each an hour away, my brothers are off in school hours and states away, and my parents are in Arizona... 1,000's of miles away....



My exact thoughts were "OMG I am a life alert commercial!"



It took me half an hour to roll over and and grab my phone so I could call in to work and call my parents... half an hour.



The trip downstairs was even more trying.... If you've seen "Wolf of Wall Street" it was basically THAT scene... without the rolling.... but pretty dead on... If it wasn't so painful, scary and pittiful it would have been hilarious!



I ended up laying on the floor for 8 hours until my back eased up enough that I could stand and then drive my self to the ER.



I ended up with a shot in the butt, Prescriptions for pain meds and muscle relaxers, and ordered bed rest till Wed.... No work.



Which totally sucks! I NEED to work! I have things to pay for! Plus until today... I had never called into work sick (except the time I was admitted to the hospital) and now my wonderful record is ruined....





UGH





Sleep and meds here I come :(

COMMENTS

-

---

LORDMOGY
02:43 Feb 07 2015

8 hrs on the floor? Did you piss yourself? Why didn't you just call for an ambulance?

---

FeverDreams
05:33 Feb 07 2015

I have herniated lumbar discs ... so I know what you are talking about. There isn't a cure ... just pain management and prayer ... grrr.



Muaks! Hope you are feeling better.

---

MySleepyGrenade
02:01 Feb 09 2015

Haha No... I have exceptionally good bladder control :)



I refuse to use an ambulance if at all possible. A) It's expensive... STUPID expensive and I just don't have the money for that and B) They'd have had to break the door in to get to me... which I also couldn't afford to replace OR would want to deal with.



I've had spasms like this before... it's unfortunately a "ride it out" or "wait and see" type of deal.

---

POST COMMENT

For the past few months my life just turned Topsy Turvy. From financial struggles, personal relationship struggles, right down to medical problems... both mentally and physically... It has just been a really shitty past 6 months.



One struggle made the other worse, which inhibited another one from getting better, and it all just cycled around and I just couldn't seem to stop it or get ahead... but these last few weeks things have slowly painfully tortuously improved.



One of my biggest issues was medical.



I have a myriad of medical problems that just seemed to have exploded all at once and I just didn't have the finances to get everything taken care of.



I won't even TOUCH the bullshit medical insurance issue. I could spend YEARS bitching about that alone...



I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS for short) which in itself is not fun. The medication required to keep things in check is a pain in the ass. It's expensive (without insurance... which I didn't have until recently) and the resulting side effects are a BITCH... About September of last year... I ran out of medication.



My specialist was way too expensive to see so I had to see a general practitioner to get a RX for the generic form. I couldn't afford the medication I take in the dosage I need without insurance. It was a choice between medication and paying bills/eating for a month. A nightmare of a situation.



Unfortunately my body just does NOT do well on the generic. Everything went to shit. From intestinal issues to blood sugar issues (I'm pre-diabetic because of the PCOS) to skin issues to in general feeling "yucky" Nothing was going right.



At the same time my OBGYNE decided it was time to switch my birth control. She was concerned the pill was having negative effects on my blood pressure and thought that another medication might be better for both my PCOS and my heart.



This new medication.... is kind of the devil.



It is a hormonal medication so I was fully aware there were probably going to be side effects, but I had changed medications in the past and had no real issues so I agreed and the new medication it was.



I have NEVER had more side effects all at once in my life. Everything went from bad to a shit show in less than a month.





By the middle of October I had gained all the weight back I had lost that year (35LBS) plus 10 more for fun, cramps for DAYS, complete emotional upheaval (I legit thought I was going crazy... I sat between uncontrollable sobbing and irrational rage - NO in between), and then the kicker a HORRIBLE amount of cystic acne on my chin.



I have always been lucky in the acne department. One maybe two zits here and there... but this... This was a nightmare. My entire chin was covered in giant red, itchy, disgusting Mount PUSSuvious' and nothing I did helped. Nothing.



Because of this my anxiety levels shot through the roof... but again without insurance... I couldn't afford my anti-anxiety medication. I needed a tranq gun.



I was stuck. I called my doctor in hysterics asking what to do.... "HELP ME! Fix this! What do I do about my FACE! I can't even leave the house without having a massive panic attack. I can't wear makeup to cover it up because it makes it worse!!! but I can't go out like this! I feel like I should be ringing the Bells of Notre Dame away from the public or hiding in the theater underground luring young songstresses into my lair wearing half a mask! HELP ME!"



(Yes, that was rather dramatic but that is legitimately how I felt and remember... uncontrollable sobbing... or irrational rage - NO in between)



She was very good to me. She did laugh at the last part but she assured me that it was ok and normal and that sometimes it takes till the 3rd round of medication before the body settles down.



I trust her. I've been with her for 14 years and the rational part of my brain said "ok calm down crazy pants just be patient and let your body settle"



The irrational part, however, disagreed... I didn't leave my house for 3 weeks except to go to work. Which to do so, I wrapped my face up so tight I could barely breathe. You would have thought I was about to run the Iditarod... Nope! Just don't look at me. Please can I just become invisible.



So by this point I am now a fatty fat (again), I can't do anything without collapsing into an ugly cry or flying off into a murderous rage, and I'm disfigured.... and broke.





Cut to the middle of December and the bills are pilling up, I'm still struggling with all of the medications and their side effects, and nothing I did seemed to give me any head way. It was pay check to pay check. Argue with insurance idiots. Argue with doctor's offices. Try not to murder anyone... Stress and I were practically poker buddies at that point. I couldn't remember how to relax





Finally I got to my 3rd round of medication the first week of January and My face... started to get better. Rather quickly too... the giant red itchy horrible mountains went away (You can still see the red spots... due to my transparent pasty skin... but makeup DID work on those). Not entirely... but enough to not have to wrap my face up like an Eskimo. I felt better.



I felt good enough to go on a date. I had been putting it off and stalling for a few weeks at that point because I was SO self conscious about my face, but I finally felt ok enough to just bite the bullet. I still had some spots that were taking their SWEET ASS TIME to go away but it was just my stupid face and a bit of acne.... "don't be stupid just do it" ...



I had discussed it with him (we had compared notes on our various injuries and maladies) and I told him that this was a sore spot for me because I had never in my 27 years of life experienced acne like this. He said "Nah, everyone's had acne at one time or another it's no big deal."



We met at a restaurant. We were both a bit nervous and did the idle chit chat as we sat down. It was pretty busy so our waitress hadn't come by yet and while we were waiting I noticed he just kept staring at me. STARING. And not particularly in a complimentary way... Then this conversation happened.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Me: "What? do I have something in my teeth?"



Him: "No... no.... it's just.... your face...."



Me: "Haha what about it? Have I smudged something? I probably have eyeliner streaks don't I?"



Him: "No.... Your chin.... You have acne..."



Me: ........



Him: "Like A.C.N.E"



Me: "Well.... yeah I told you it was awful *nervous laughter* but it's getting a lot better so I'm happy about that"



Him: "I thought you were just exaggerating... Like all girls do.... but that is like ACNE!"



Me: ........... "Yeah... It's not much fun"



Him: *More staring*



Me: .....



Him: "Honestly, like the thought of kissing you right now... with all that *hand gesturing at my chin* going on.... is repulsive"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



YEP That fucker said REPULSIVE.



At that point I just got up and left. I grabbed my coat, my purse, and just left without a word. I managed to make it to the car before bursting into tears.



That goes down as the WORST date I have EVER been on... and all of it happened before our waitress even made it over to our table to take our drink order. What a classy dude....



Needless to say that knocked my emotional health back a few notches. He was clearly an asshole and I'm glad I found out way sooner rather than later... but that still fucking stung.



That was my crashing point... I was so beaten down and exhausted from everything I slept for 4 days straight.



It took a phone call from a very special friend, who gave me one hell of a emotional hug/kick in the ass/pep talk to give me the push I needed to get my shit back in gear.



I've still got a ways to go before everything evens out but things are moving in the right direction.



Today I can FINALLY take a small sigh of relief. There's been small.... infinitesimal even... breaks on all fronts and I can finally breathe again. It may be ragged and shallow but





I'm still breathing.

COMMENTS

-

---

slipknotbabe356
20:12 Feb 01 2015

Wow what a jerk! A real man wouldn't point out a woman's flaws especially in public while on a date either. A real man would look past the flaws and would know what a special person you are.

---

POST COMMENT