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Yesterday morning I had a new MRI scan done of my lower back so maybe I can finally get some relief for all this crap.





In case anyone was wondering (or doesn't want to go searching through the mini journal novella I wrote about it previously) here's a recap of what happened.





~* Recap *~



I slipped on some ice in 2006 (almost cliche I know lol) and had some serious pain in my back. Couldn't walk properly, sit or even lay down comfortably. But being the idiot I was I did absolutely nothing about it and eventually the pain went away and everything seemed fine.



Unfortunately it was only a temporary relief and in 2007 I ended up in the hospital (due to actually an unrelated issue; Kidney stone! blech!) but was also suffering from the same pain in my back and pretty much uncomfortable in every position.



The hospital that I was at was beyond incompetent. They refused to listen to anything I said about my current medical conditions, and how to treat it, to telling me I was making up the pain and basically calling me a narc seeker.



Eventually all that lead to a kidney stone removal surgery and a major error (in everything) on their part causing me to accumulate 4 liters of saline fluid in my lungs and being stuck in the ICU for a week with a machine strapped to my face :(



Anyways, my father pretty much bullied the Pulmonologist into ordering an MRI for my back because I was in hell. (I cried the entire time because the position they needed me to be in- and stay in- was excruciating)



They came back with "you have sciatica and a 'bulged disc' in your lower lumbar" They told me you could have surgery to fix it but it was nothing 6 weeks of bed rest couldn't fix.



Yet here I am 6 years later still dealing with it...





~* Today *~



Lately the pain hasn't been so much of an issue. It still hurts pretty much all the time and it's no joke pain. If charlie horses and migraines had a baby... this is what it would be.



Now I have constant tingling in my foot. Like that pins and needles feeling you get when your foot has fallen asleep and is just waking up. As well as numbness. Which has gotten worse.



I was ok with just a deaden'd sensation and having to be more careful shaving my leg but complete loss of feeling if I'm just sitting down is not cool.







Now I'm just waiting to hear from my dr. about them and find out conclusively exactly what's wrong and what's next....



And this is the part that is killing me. I hate waiting. Especially for medical news...

You know I never really understood the "OMG IT'S VALENTINES DAY AND I'M ALONEEEE!!!! My life is OVER! No one loves me! WAHHHHHHHHH"



Really. I just never got it.







I've been through Valentines Day in a loving relationship, in an abusive relationship, dating, and single.... and you know what? It's pretty much the same damn thing either way.



Is it nice to have someone to buy you flowers and chocolates and jewelry etc? Sure!



But is it equally nice to buy yourself some damn chocolates and just love you being you? YES!







When I really think about it... I'd much prefer being single and buying myself candy than having someone else do it because they feel like they have to...



Don't get me wrong... There is nothing wrong with people actually wanting to celebrate the holiday. If you do that's great :)



I just don't understand how people can base so much of their happiness on this holiday...





P.S. Happy Valentines Day! ;)

COMMENTS

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deathnitegrl
09:47 Feb 14 2013

I forgot about it until I logged in here lol.

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supernova
10:37 Feb 14 2013

I know right? As opposed to the rest of the normal days they aren't alone? LOL. It's a plot to make money for retail. I mean seriously, I show my dedication year round to mine. Why does it have to be declared on ONE stupid day that I love the man for shits sake? It's ridiculous and I for one don't celebrate it and neither does he:)

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MySleepyGrenade
02:11 Feb 15 2013

Exactly!





It's not like everything was so much better the day before or the day after... If you don't have a special someone why does the ONE day matter?





I'm the same way. Bring me some flowers or candy on a random day and I'll be MUCH more impressed :)

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