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And my day sucked again. When I need a sick day cause am not feeling well, we'll it does not even exist when you live when you are living with someone.

Am sick=no day off. Not even in bed.

Home after the surgery? Same.

Aching legs due to arthritis? Same

Fever and head cold? Same. I am so done. And people here wonder what will happen to my disabled father and never cared about me and my feelings. Sweet jesus fucking helluva Christ. No wonder why I wanna leave and forget about everyone.

Okay. This is too much. Dad wants.me to wash his private parts everyday or he will kick me out. Ewwww. My stomach is going to be fucked more than it can handle. I can't go on like this. I always throwing up everything everyday. If I continue like this......I refuse to eat.



And today I had to stop eating my breakfast and wear gloves to wipe his junk AGAIN UNWILLINGLY and put cream on him. Everyday. Fucking hell.





How does it feel then that after am doing all that for him unwillingly and get insulted as the ugliest disgusting and abominable shapeless thing on earth who don't know what gender I am or genderless?



I hate me. I hate my life. I hate being this weak.

And I can't even report him cause he is disabled on the wheelchair and people defends him and so does the law here in Malta since they are fully supportive for the disabled ones. Every time I tried, I lost the case. I am lost

I can't believe how many people refuse to have relationship or sexual one just cause I look fat to them and got a scarring scar on my abdomen due to gall bladder surgery and also they run faster if they know I am a transman that loves men. Now I feel ugly. I am proud to be trans guy but I feel ugly. People sure know their ways to make you feel bad about yourself. =(

COMMENTS

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VenusFire
01:31 Sep 20 2014

Those are the ones not worth your time. You deserve better.

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RavensDeath666
01:35 Sep 20 2014

You should be you and proud of who you are. That's the most important thing out there in your life

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RavensDeath666
01:36 Sep 20 2014

You should be you and proud of who you are. That's the most important thing out there in your life

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GothicOverlord
01:41 Sep 20 2014

listen man.i hate those people.dont listen to what they say.if they say your ugly or fat or what ever.you are beautiful no matter what anybody thinks.that goes for everybody.

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LadyofJustice
17:32 Sep 20 2014

Granted words can be hurtful and for them it is cause they are the insecure one. Be confident about yourself.



People who have issues about dating someone because of their weight are not what your goal is in life to settle down with. Same can be said with scars.

As for gender and who you are the right open minded person who does not judge you and will understand your goal and the person who you should be setting your sight on. Let the men run don't go chasing after kicked up dirt.

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MirrorOfTheSoul
18:04 Sep 20 2014

Thanks all. I just happen that they found me low and attacked me altogether in just one day. Thanks ks mum and thanks guys. I wonder when I became so sensitive person

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