The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Alex Story : On October 20th, 2011, no one was home after school so I tried to hang myself in my basement. I know what your thinking, why would she do such a selfish thing? Well I was going through so much I couldn’t even handle anything anymore. I gave up at the time. I ended up getting off the ground and going upstairs. I looked in the mirror and I saw the brush marks all over my neck from the rope. I knew in school the next day people were going to ask where was it from.



Then I started to cut myself. It was addicting, I did it a couple times that night. In the morning at school I ended up telling 2 of my best friends, someone told a guidance counselor about what I did last night. When I got home after school, social workers came to my house and I had no idea why they were at my house at first, but then they asked me if I really tried to hang myself, and of course I told the truth. So I got taken down to ECMC after school, I had to sit in the emergency room for 6 hours, then I had to sit in CPEP for another 6 hours, the nurse finally took me up to my room. I ended up staying there till November 4th. It helped a lot, and taught me a lesson. I’m glad that whoever told, did tell the guidance counselor about how I attempted suicide because I wouldn’t have gotten the help I needed. When I tell what happened that night I attempted suicide, I actually smile at the end now. My friends wonder why I smile.



I smile because I’m happy it’s over and I got the help I needed. I’m glad I don’t have to go through any of that pain anymore, because I try my best to think positive everyday. Things do get better; you just have to hang in there. I know this suicide attempt was recent and your wondering how I could tell this so soon, but like I said I’m happy that I got the help I needed, and I’m happy that the suicide attempt didn’t actually work out.



And remember things do get better. Suicide is 100% preventable, speak out and reach out. People should at least try to get help even through its really hard at the time. There are many people that can help you. Everyone is concern about teens committing suicide. Everyone feels guilt when a teen commits suicide because they think they could have done something to prevent the suicide.



People shouldn’t feel embarrassed about trying to attempt suicide or even expressing their personal feelings. Everyone has difficult times in their lives and we need to help each other. Just remember things do get better.



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Anonymous:



I started being a bully 1 year ago when this girl in my tutor group went and got her hair cut really short and I did not like it. In a way it look like lady gaga so I called her it then I started hitting her and being mean to her. At break and lunch she would come up to me and say so then shall we get this over and done with, and a week came to two week then to three weeks and I started being really mean and then one day I followed her home and after that I watched her getting changed in the changing room. Then I thought to myself and said why I am doing this just because she has short hair, so I stopped. Now we are friends.



I have stopped bullying because you get nothing out of it, you are not pushing others out the way you are pushing yourself away. You lose friends bullying and you just get yourself in trouble.



Whoever is reading this please stop because it is not nice and I have been bullied a long time ago when I was 9 by the person I bullied please please please stop.



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Anonymous:



I am a bully. That’s what makes my story different to most. I want to help stop this; it’s not worth anything I have done.



Effectively, I am the worst kind of bully. I don’t do it intentionally, therefore I don’t know when I’m doing it, or even when I’m taking something to far. Yet, I’m aware of cases such as that of Amanda Todd, which I hope I never lower myself too… RIP sweetheart… Anyway. I suppose it all started because I myself was vulnerable. I was into the emo/goth scene so people stereotyped me. I was never bullied myself, though.



Chavs shot me some dirty looks, but other than that, life was fairly normal. One day, some girl was giving me a hard time. I did my best to ignore it, but I couldn’t help being infuriated. After calling me a ‘dirty whore’ she swung for me, but I got her first, completely taking her out in one blow. Then her boyfriend went for me, but he was easy enough to take down. The next day, everyone was scared of me. The story was twisted as it went between mouths, some even went as far to say I killed her but she was revived somehow. Everyone started calling me ‘hard’ and kept their distance – even my enemies. This was the start of it all, when I learnt how to use violence to my advantage, and be top dog for once.



So that’s what I did. I never hurt anyone, but boy would I threaten them, which always worked anyway, there was no need to take it to a new level. Then one day, my best friend at the time, went crazy over a guy who hated her. But, she loved him, so she just said to my mates and I that we were being idiots. I did particular things to upset her, and sure enough one by one everyone began to drift away from her and she was left alone. I’d laugh at her, say things openly behind her back and lie about her.



All because now I can completely control her life. I watched some kid being beaten today. I saved that kid. Nobody should die like this. So I’ve decided I will stop. This is the best way to rid the world of it. I can’t believe I’d even done something like that. If only I could make others like me realize too…



Thank you for your time.



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Anonymous : I lived in Dubai for 13 and a half years, going to the same school and being with the same people. I always had the same friends and nothing seemed to get me down. I had never fought with anyone nor had anyone fought with me. I was living life like a miracle. Then, my parents told me that we were moving to Pakistan. I thought it would be a good experience.



When I joined the school, I tried way too hard to fit in, I shoved pictures in a girl’s locker and I was already dating someone after a month. I also turned a lot of people against me. I soon realized that was a big mistake and therefore I tried my best to make things right with people. After a month, I finally made things right with the girl that I shoved pictures in her locker to. She forgave me and said she had been through the same type of bullying as me. The type of bullying that was not physical but verbal. However, it still affects you a lot. Having all my Dubai friends and some Pakistani friends there for me, I have gotten through some of it. I am still in the process of bullying. It will take time to stop. But now that I’ve made things right with people I feel so much better. As long as it’s one step at a time, it’s all good.



My bullying story was not as bad as others, no matter how major or minor you are getting bullied, it still matters. If it affects you it does matter. I was made to feel worthless and I cried myself to sleep. I felt like cutting myself, but I stopped myself from doing stupid things. I had to go through it. I was called names and ugly and fat. If you are ever called anything, don’t take it to your heart, whoever is bullying you is probably jealous of you. One day you are going to become more successful than that person and you may end up being there boss for all knows. Just try your best so stay strong, don’t forget that people in this world love you and if you are being bullied and you think you don’t have friends, I’m your friend. It might sound ridiculous but it’s true. No one deserves to feel worthless, and ugly and fat. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, everyone is perfect. It might sound strange but believe it. And trust me, everything happens for a reason and things will get better and something better is going to happen to you if you had to experience bullying. Be patient. Wait. Wait for that thing to happen. Just wait and it will. Hope this made you feel better.



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D’s story:



It all started when I was in grade 4. This guy named Chris started calling me gay, and harassing me. It was not enough to push me to my limits. But deep inside it hurt. Why was he doing this to me! I don’t know, but is it because I was a Filipino? No, he has a friend who’s Filipino.



In grade 5 it got worse. I got called gay, gay lord, and loads of stuff. I scream like a girl, so who cares? It’s not my fault that is what I scream like, right? I had friends who still supported me and stood beside me. I was a boy, and I hang out with girls. It was just easier! At this point of time I got so mad that I just wanted to storm out of my classroom. I hated them so much.



But then came my last hope in grade 6. I was hoping to go to another school other than the bullies who did go to the other catholic school. The principal even had a talk to me saying why I was going to another school. Not their school. I just lost it there, it was spilling time. He finally convinced me that I should go to the catholic school. I was called and harassed in the bus, saying “Oh David I like your…………” Meaning that he didn’t like anything about me and that there was nothing good about me. I told my friend that I thought of suicide. I told him all about the things going on till grade 6 which is the grade that I am still in. He didn’t act like he cared, but then the guidance counselor talked to me about it and that they were going to send me to a health hospital. I was like what? Then I started getting support from my friends. I told my family to not talk about it. I started to get all better. Them I fully got self confidence in myself.

Bullying can happen to anyone, I’m still in grade six and people have harassed me. Then I realized, fight fire with fire. So the next time someone calls me a gay lord. I’ll say good, can I make you gay? Oh wait I can’t turn you to something that you already are. Tell someone! Or, read stories on here. And you can truly understand. Suicide is not the way to go.



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Em:



I am now 30 years old and have only just started to get over my bullied years that happened years ago at school. It started in 1989 my last year at juniors and followed into senior school where it got worse, much worse until I left in 1995, it was mental torture everyday, I couldn’t sleep every night worrying about going into school the next day, I tried to pretend I was ill but my parents never fell for it, I wasn’t much of a liar see, they always could tell, so got sent to school anyway. All the name calling, teasing, laughing at me and sniggering behind my back every single day, I felt horrible, alone and I hated myself, really hated myself. I lost all my self confidence which I am only just beginning to gain back now after 20 years.



I was always a chubby kid, but looking back at photo’s of me back then I don’t think I looked that huge, but my bullies made me feel like I was enormous repulsive ugly and hideous looking. When i saw myself in a mirror or shop window i felt repulsed by what i could see before me, I saw what they made me to believe I was. so much so I started comfort eating to make myself feel better and hiding the evidence anywhere and everywhere, even my poor little brother took the blame for pinching the food I stole sometimes, knowing it was me, love him, best little bro ever.



So, I started to pile on the pounds making myself fat and becoming exactly what they bullied me about in the first place, by making myself fat I also made myself an easier target for the bullies, so now I really was fat and ugly and weak and they loved ripping me to shreds on a daily basis with the name calling and mental torture.

I wished I had never been born, every single day I thought this, I hated my life and constantly questioned myself on a daily basis, what is the point of life? I hate it and wish I was dead.



Eating all that food seemed to make me feel better, for a short while anyway, I assume like people with cigarette addictions, but then it didn’t last for long, so had to eat more and more and more to feed my habit, which is now what it had become.



Looking back now, My trouble was I never spoke to anyone about what happened to me, that was just silly, I should have spoken to someone, anyone, a teacher, my parents, grandparents, a friend or neighbor that I trusted, but back then I thought if I admitted I was being bullied by them idiots then I would be made a fool of by everyone, I’d just be a big fat ugly joke, which i already felt like anyway, why make it worse, I thought.



I recently found out by someone that a few of them were jealous. JEALOUS OF ME???? Why? I was fat and ugly, I didn’t get it. Apparently, it was because I had long straight hair and no spots. that was it! I was made to feel like nothing and I hated myself for 20 years of my 30 years of life because of that. Daft isn’t it. The other bullies I assume bullied me because I was an easy target and they followed the other bullies picking on me anyway, even a friend of mine sided with the bullies in fear of being picked on herself. That really hurt, even more so than what I was going through daily anyway.



So, If you are being bullied for any reason no matter how big or small you think it may be, it is a very big deal to you, because it is you that is being hurt and affected by it. It does matter that you get help, nobody will ever judge you, tell someone you trust, they will help you. Don’t suffer in silence like I did, you are only bullying yourself doing that. Don’t ruin your own life more by not getting help.

I really wish all these web sites and foundations and organizations for bullying were set up a years earlier, maybe I would have done something about it sooner, who knows?

Don’t feel bad about yourself because of stupid no good bullies, they are nothing not you. Get help! Do it today, don’t put it off any longer.



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When I was at the age of 8, I loved to act and be on stage. It was so fun to me. When my mom told me that there was a play and there were going to be auditions, I was so excited. My mom drove me over to the place, and I saw that there was lots of kids who wanted to be in the play. When they told me I made it I was so happy! I was thinking how much fun this would be.



On the first day I realized there were a group of four girls, and the “leader” of it was this one girl. At first she seemed kinda nice, but then things turned around. She started making up lies, and calling me names which made me cry. They took all my joy away from me. There was a girl who couldn’t stand this bully. She and I promised each other that we would tell the director about this problem. When I was looking for her, she was making fun of me secretly with the mean girls. I tried to tell the director, but all he said was “kids will be kids, just ignore them.” I had to tell a parent who listened, and they helped. You know the saying “sticks and stone may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”? People say that, but the words are the ones that can hurt the most. I learned that bullies will just try to break you down and make you feel bad about yourself, but they’re just doing that to make themselves feel better. Bullying is NEVER good in any way. If you’re a bully, just think how the other person might feel. And if you’re a victim, just tell someone that can help.



~Lizzie



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Bullying is something that’s been around forever. Too often, people shrug it off as “a part of growing up”. But the consequences can be a devastating experience for the recipient. I can remember back to my own childhood, there was a girl in my neighborhood that would often be taunted with cruel jokes. As kids, we would all just stand by and laugh. Though seeming harmless at the time, I am embarrassed to admit, I myself, had sometimes been laughing at the expense of that girl. In later years as an early teen, I also had a turn at a bullying experience. Now I felt exactly what it was like to feel hurt, scared and doubting my own self worth. Just like that girl from my neighborhood a few years earlier. Unfortunately,this problem continues to fly under the radar. It effects all races, genders and religions. I love the idea of kids banning together and helping end these problems. This is a harsh but necessary issue that effects us all. As a parent, I urge us all to talk to our kids about the facts. Don’t ignore it or be afraid to face it. Reach out and help stop the hate.



-Deb



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One time when I was in the car with my mom and sister, all the kids from school were coming out. We were just getting out of the school zone, when there was two boys walking on the sidewalk. All of a sudden, the one boy just pushed the other into the road. My mom beeped and had to step on the breaks to avoid an accident. Since I was in the car, I couldn’t do much but I was so shocked that kids would push other kids into busy traffic. Bullying is a very big problem, and I think it should end. I hope they enforce laws that it won’t be tolerated if you’re caught in action.



-Becky



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Since I was about 9, (I’m 12 now) I have been bullied at school. People call me fat and ugly. They laugh at me, threaten to beat me. Every time I told a teacher, they told me to go to the guidance counselor. When I go, she tells me to ignore them. Anyone who’s been bullied, knows that’s quite hard. Just recently in 6th grade, it got more serious. I started thinking about suicide and cutting. My friends told all our teachers, and finally they did something. Bullying has decreased for me. So, the point is, don’t be afraid to tell someone. Friends, teachers, neighbors, parents, siblings, anyone. They WILL help. Just tell them. It’ll work eventually.



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It started when I was 11. I just moved schools. Everything was alright, I even made a few friends.

A few months later, the school decided to make a completely new class in order to make the classes smaller (because apparently that helps with learning and eliminates bullying; Yeah, right!).

I was chosen to be moved from my old class to the new one. At first it was fine, everyone ignored me, and I was happy to be left alone. Then it started. One day after school a few people from my new class came to me.

“Hi” a girl said “Wanna be friends?”

I said “Yes” of course. She laughed and told me that she’s sorry but her and her mates can’t be friends with ‘emo loners’ like me.

A few more situations like that followed, but soon it turned physical. For a few weeks I was beaten up almost everyday after school. When I told the teacher, she said I can’t move classes and that’s final. So I was stuck with those horrible people. I started cutting myself, and cried myself to sleep every night. But after a few more months of putting up with that, I decided to tell my family. They didn’t do anything at first, but after a while got tired of me moaning about how I hate school and talked to the head teacher. A week or so after that I was moved to another class and avoided my bullies during break. They soon forgot about me. I’m perfectly fine now. I stopped cutting. I hardly ever cry. And all because I told someone who could actually do so something.



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When I was in 3rd grade, I started getting bullied. I was called shortie. I was bullied, kicked, punched and laughed at. I didn’t do anything back. I didn’t want to get in trouble, so I just told my mother. She told the principal to stop this child from hurting me. But, I was still bullied and had to got to another school. Now I am 6th grade, trying to stand strong. I don’t cut, but I was close to trying to hurt myself in another way. But I decided not too. I am still a victim of being bullied, but I’m stronger.

~Arianna



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I’ve been bullied for over six years now and it still goes on, it never seems to stop. It started when my Dad left when I was six, I told one friend and she back-stabbed me and told everybody, the next day people where making fun of me and laughing at me, and making jokes. I didn’t tell my parents, the guidance counselor…



I told nobody. I went through third grade and fourth grade with only my two best guy friends, my Dad had had over three different girlfriends in the past two years.



My Dad always wanted the best for me and my sister I think but I don’t think he ever could get the best for us. My little sister was about one when he had started dating this one girl. My Dad and her fought non-stop, there would always be throwing, hitting, screaming, and blood, the police always showed up. After they had broke up, my Dad found some new girl and they ended up getting married after ONE FREAKING MONTH.



To be honest I don’t like my step mom, she makes me feel like I’m worthless, stupid, ugly, broken, hideous, and lots of others.. the thing is my Dad didn’t tell me he got married until two weeks after the wedding. I was so frustrated I thought my only way out of all my stress and depression was cutting and suicide. My Dad and step mom are still together today, my sister is five now and is a beautiful young lady and she’s always happy, and is just perfect.. but me on the other hand my mom always yells at me everyday, she threatens to hit me, and put me in a foster home, and she calls me all these names that hurt me. I started fifth grade and made one friend that was a girl, I was happy but then I got a little too happy and told about my cutting and attempts, and depression, she turned on me. People at school started hitting me and grabbing my wrists and ankles looking for scars, cuts, burns, etc. They never found any. I started walking to school because people on the bus used to hit me, dump my bag out, and do mean things to me. I started cutting myself more and more until my thighs, and wrists where shredded. My parents never noticed, they didn’t care. I tried hanging myself in my front yard in June because I couldn’t stand the bullying anymore and all the stress I was going through. It turns out the person who saved me was the person that bullied me the most, the guy that used to bully me is now my best friend and savior. Yes I still do cut but I have cut back A LOT, and I’m very proud of myself. I stand up for myself more now. I have more friends that are willing to stand up for me.



-Words Of Advice-

Don’t do what I did, it was stupid and it led to very bad things. Speak Up, Tell An Adult. If someone is bullying you tell somebody, get help, TELL SOMEBODY. You’re Important.