The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Frenemies are a true bittering agent in life. You try so hard and see so many hedonic attractions to a person, yet their actions sinply reinforce a disdain and type of condescension in spite. A battle of egos is a constant factor in the life of a narcissist.
However, in my vain life, I realize I do not truly live up to the importance and gravity I give myself. I have much to do before becoming even close to realizing my potential; my Heaven. I have found myself in a couple substance abuse situations. Today, I had a conversation with myself. “Why do you stick your neck out for cigarettes, Dio?” To which my logical devil’s advocate responded “Because I work better with Nicotine than DMT in my life, but still need a numbing agent.”
We often play this game of lesser evils in life, everyone does. If you had asked me years ago if I saw myself smoking or drinking, I would have scoffed at the idea. Pain drives people beyond horizons and boundaries set, for better or worse. Life has no absolutes, and as such, the moment you define an expectation of it is the moment the Fates begin plotting how to tear it down. We are all too tempted into the things we say we refuse the more we are robbed of the thought by ourselves. Children and candy.
At moments like this, I find crossroads. Opportunities to choose the Pillar of the Fool or that of the Magician. I have been trying to lean toward the latter in respects to my internal struggles as of late. This said, it faltered quite a bit last night. Warning: it’s about to get dark.
.
.
.
I, like many of you probably, have battled depression. I have Severe Bipolar Disorder. I am either a Maniac or a Shell. Like all shells, fragile and empty, I can be filled by the words spoken into me. They bounce and echo around, each wall of my body a sounding board reflecting it and amplifying it in a windstorm of anxieties. This weakness can boil into a lack of self-worth or direction when introduced to the wrong stimuli.
A particular frenemy of mine sent me a link to a song titled “Cocaine” by a generic Nightcore Remixer. “This song should help with your breakup.” A sweet gesture, I figured. She was gaining my favor inch by inch within circles of coworkers. The song’s contents were anything but helpful. Verses centric around irreparable failures and drug abuse taking hold of people trying so hard to function but unwilling to leave their vices under the sheets of Snow. “Now it’s too late.” Forced it’s way into the cavern in my head, gusting through and blowing out all the candles lit in a good day of friends supporting me through my hurting, trying to turn it into wicks of healing to burn away the blackness of a broken heart. I thought about following suit, giving into my vices until they took me.
Alas; I have faced this demon before. Every villain has a reason, a purpose, an anarchist truly seeks freedom, the power-hungry just want survival. I align there in the truest self I have come to find. I must cling to my light, for even when the night is it’s darkest, there are suns to be seen, even if distant, far brighter than the light that shines in the day. I must survive. Heaven awaits.

How would one define gravity? Scientifically, we have very little understanding of the force. Emotionally, though, it’s connotations are far clearer. Gravity is, in simplest terms, the force of fate. A man with immense charisma causes others to GRAVITATE toward him. If an event can cause a large impact, it has a lot of gravity. I like to think I have a good bit of gravity and power to myself. I hope that this website is more than just a small meteor to Planet Dio. I hope to find people who understand and can truly connect with me on here. People who gravitate toward me as I try to find them. That’s all, I suppose. Everything happens for a reason, here’s hoping this was a good one.