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I feel like if I ever stop in life I'll be sucked into the void...



My life is this dark ocean, nothing but black water everywhere... I keep swimming franticly, fighting to stay on top. But I know that if I were to ever stop I would sink like a stone. Sometimes I do stop, though, on purpose. I do something I know will jepordize my entire balance of life. I sink so fast, the dark engulfing me. I feel the current overwhelming me, the pressure of the deep pressing into me. Then, just when my lungs bleed for air, I flail again. Screaming and choking I grasp the surface and sputter, trying to collect my life again and swim faster.



I know I am going to self-destruct soon...but I hold on and continue swimming...I cannot let go. My son cannot swim....

Sometimes I want to cry so hard. My husband always is hurting my feelings, saying things that are mean and spiteful. He is mean because I like vampires and other paranormal things. He doesn't understand me...I want to be free sometimes...