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I thought the most beautiful thing

in the world must be shadow,

the million moving shapes

and cul-de-sacs of shadow.

There was shadow in bureau drawers

and closets and suitcases,

and shadow under houses

and trees and stones,

and shadow at the back of people's eyes and

smiles,

and shadow miles



and



miles



and



miles





of it, on the night side of earth.



Factitious:

artificial, sham



You'll never get anywhere like that.

I push it out of me.

All the tears and the hurt...

push it out and let it melt on my face.

Until a smile consumes me.



But it's not from joy



Happiness is supposed to reign today...

at least for me.



And yet I find myself miserable

and taking pain for others.



Saving them the hurt they deserve.



Why am I such a fool.