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One prostitute asks another..

''have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?''



''no, but I've been swung 'round by the tits"

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MysticMoon
14:43 Feb 26 2009

lmao i love this

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Theban
20:56 Jun 19 2009

Great lol

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Nurses aren't supposed to laugh.



"Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."



"Okay then," Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.



Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.



"I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"



"It's swollen," Fred replied.

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MysticMoon
15:26 Feb 04 2009

oh god i love it !!!!!!!!!!!

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Stikki
12:19 Feb 06 2009

BWAHAHAHAHA!!

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I don’t know if you know this, but you can now purchase Kosher computers! They are made in Israel by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is so low... even with the shipping from Israel! However, before you purchase a kosher computer of your own, you should know that there are some important changes from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to, such as:





1) The 'Start' button has been replaced with a 'Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!' button.



2) You hear 'Hava Nagila' during startup.



3) The cursor moves from right to left.



4) When Spell-checker finds an error it prompts, 'Is this the best you can do?'



5) When you look at erotic images, your computer says, 'If your mother knew you did this, she would die.'



6) It comes with a 'monitor cleaning solution' from Manischewitz that gets rid of all the 'schmutz und drek.'



7) When running 'Scan Disk' it prompts you with a 'You want I should fix this?' message.



8) After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC goes, 'Schloffen.'



9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.



10) It comes with two hard drives - one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).



11) Instead of getting a 'General Protection Fault' error, your PC now gets 'Ferklempt.'



12) The multimedia player has been renamed to 'Nu, so play my music already!'



13) When your PC is working too hard, you occasionally hear a loud 'Oy Gevalt!'



14) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.



16) When disconnecting external devices from the PC, you are instructed to 'Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus.'



17) After your computer dies, you have to dispose of it within 24 hours.



18) But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get SPAM...

COMMENTS

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xxEmaeraldxx
19:21 Feb 01 2009

I like the idea of an anti-spam computer.. it would come in useful for a few websites I know!

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LIFEBLOOD
10:57 Feb 02 2009

My dear EM, I hope that was because of boredom .. lol

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