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You know what feels really good? After all this time of pointless emotional fluctuations?



Being pissed off, and actually having a REASON to be pissed.



I know that's a hell of a contrast, kinda like being pleasantly hungry, but there it is.



I go to work, get pissed off at the stupidity of certain coworkers, and I'm actually enjoying being able to say that my emotional state is founded.



Now, for some music!

Well, I really don't know why, but I'm definitely having streaks where I cannot believe how happy I am, and periods where I cannot find a reason to continue on.



And to be honest, there's no real cause for either one.



Granted, I'm single again, certainly no one to spend time with. So why so happy?



I've got relatively good health, a good job, and easy finances. So why so miserable?



As a look at my journal will show, I spend far too much time pondering the negative.



I need to ride the wave of positivity while it lasts. Stand tall and tell the negative aspects of my life to fuck off.



AND, I need to get me some snuggle hugs in the process...

I just want to curl up with someone soft and sweet and yummy and take a nap.



;)

COMMENTS

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Isis101
02:58 Jul 26 2013

Here ya' go:

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Jaethen
23:33 Jul 26 2013

Gee, thanks. XD

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POST COMMENT

Still at it. Still trying to make it through, keep my sanity, find a reason to smile. But none of it is working.



Took the opportunity to date someone for a few months. That was nice. It had a good effect on me. When something happened that should have pissed me off or made me sad, I was able to laugh it off, I was able to tell myself "No worries, I'll just have a good laugh about it later on with her."



She brought me the stability I've been wanting and lacking for so long...



But we realised that we weren't really "going anywhere". Our time together was fun, but aside from being able to cope with the other parts of my life, there was nothing really productive about our relationship. So we broke it off.



And within a week, I had my first real, hardcore anxiety attack since last year. Three days after that, I had one that literally put me on my ass, and nearly in the hospital.



It's hard to believe that all I really need for stability in my life is someone to care about besides myself.



So much for giving up on caring for others. So much for deciding to be self centered. It looks like I NEED to care about another...