One Perspective on Pansexual, Bisexual, and Queer20:08 Feb 12 2013
Times Read: 462
So for me. I consider myself to be gender-fluid, but female bodied. I value both aspects of me. I am both my sex and my gender. Even if, sometimes, my gender doesn't exist.
I am also bi-sexual and hetero-romantic.
I am sexually attracted to male and female cisgendered people, as well as those who have fully transitioned. I love body parts and personalities that match.... (This doesn't mean I am disgusted by trans bodies, I am just not attracted to them. That's all. Its a preference. I think they are beautiful, but I don't find them arousing.) BUT I am only attracted to men, romantically. I consider the term "hetero-romantic" a valid label, because I am female bodied, romantically attracted to male bodied persons.
Now. Sexuality is always fluid. Even with heterosexuality. I know this because I have lots of friends with lots of different sexuality. So its more a guideline, rather than a rule. shrugs Hell, I find the people in the band Steam Powered Giraffe attractive as their human selves as well as the "robot" characters they play. Look them up. You'll understand lol!!! But one of them considers themselves to be trans, but isn't really in transition. She is ok with either pronoun and dresses femme when not on stage. The character she plays is male. And I find both her femme and non-femme self to be gorgeous. But that's just one person in an endless sea of so many people. Maybe, one day, I'll be interested in more folks that aren't cisgender or fully transitioned. And then I'll consider myself Pan. Until then, I consider myself to be bi.
A lot of my views are because I was raised in a very binary based world. My mom is gay and I was taught that either you are gay or straight. There is no in between. So coming out to my mom was incredibly difficult. And completely terrifying. So those instilled beliefs are going to take a LONG time to get use to correcting. Hell, it wasn't until a couple of years ago I understood how I felt was gender fluidity. And its still new and strange to me. ::shrugs:: So I may say something that doesn't sit right with someone (if I do, I apologize) Re-wiring a poor way of thinking is hard. But I'm making progress. :) Relearning how to do/say things is a very long process and will take time. And one day, I may be more comfortable with partners who's gender do not match their parts. I'm still trying to get comfortable with my own self and dealing with having body dysphoria some days... :( (on days I feel male, my lower female body parts feel like a betrayal. - I like my boobs regardless what gender-day it is but the lower half of me. That's a different story. ::sigh::) ANYWAYS. Sorry I got side tracked.
Sexuality and gender-identity are incredibly complicated.
And Queer means something different to everyone.
Some find it insulting.
Others find it the best word to describe themselves.
Some find it to be an "in between" word. Equating Queer with "fluctuating" or "mix-gender". Queer is usually associated with gender, rather than sexuality, but when it is to do with sexuality, it usually means "completely fluctuating and doesn't fall under ANY label". But again. It means different things to everyone who encounters the word, so how I think it is, could be totally wrong for someone else. :)
COMMENTS
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deathnitegrl
21:20 Feb 12 2013
Sexuality is indeed a complex topic. There are people who are still doubtful of what they are. It takes courage to come out. Thank you for being open and the interesting read.