it amazes me the immaturity of deleting someone and blocking them instead of having the guts to stand up for yourself and say what is wrong, i dont understand, why run from the problems? just face what you have to face and say what you need to say, why leave me in the dark of not knowing what i did, if there was someone else then why not tell me from the beginning, i just dont understand why you have to run from the problem instead of telling me what i did wrong, or if your scared then say it dont run and hide and block me from ever talking to you again, but you know what, i guess since you want to be the big man then im done with you, you said no matter what we always come back to each other, well you just took the last train home because im not coming back anymore fuck it im tired of getting hurt and feeling like a tool, i dont deserve this, i hope that whatever reason you left suddenly without any kind of goodbye is the best one in the world because i will no longer care for you, i used to think that you were going to always be there for me, even told me you wanted to save me, but look you've vanished and im stranded here, thanks for everything, one thing though, i do love you
Apparently i did or said something to piss him off to not talk to me all day, and delete me off facebook and block me, i dont know what i did or said but i am hoping that it doesnt cost us forever, i hate thinking that i did something so wrong, i dont understand, my mind is so fucking gone right now its not even funny, i want to scream, i want to cry, most of all i dont want to lose him but it seems like i have, i dont know, i shouldnt jump the gun but i cant help it, alls i want to know is why or what, i just dont know anymore, i think im going to give up all hope and stay single for the rest of my life, fuck all the bullshit, ugh im so mixed emotions right now, i dont even know what to think or do, i am sorry.....
why tell me you love me and not mean it....the love i have for you has grown and poof your gone, i just dont get it....what did i do?
i don't understand why we must have doubts, my mind is in serious wonder mode right now, and of course i can't really think of anything positive, i want things to be the way they should but all at the same time do i really know how they should be? i think that i need time to myself for a little breather but i have no where to go alone, i don't feel as wanted by him as i think i should, but i know that deep down he does love me I'm just to arrogant to see it, its hard to take anything into consideration when I'm not used to feeling wanted, I know for a fact that I love him, and even though there is a distance that can't destroy to much, it just sucks bad because honestly I'm not with him, and i know that I'm here doing nothing, not saying he's doing something but its just one of those things that i have my mind set on, ugh why do i keep putting myself through all this massive brain fucks! its amazing how you find out stuff about yourself, like me for instance im a big massive hope killer, i say one thing and do another, anything to tear someone apart, my self confidence is the lowest of low, i dont know anything about myself anymore, i dont know how i feel half the time, everybody talks about things only getting better, why or how, i have yet to see something get better, life seems like it has no purpose, i dont hate it and i dont hate myself i just wish i knew what my purpose was.....i dont see how people can be so happy when there life is nothing, i wish my spirits were that high but there not, i dont think i can ever let mine get that high, how do i know im ever going to see daniel again, i could be talking to him for another year before we get to see each other, it sucks, i dont know what i want any more, i just wish that i had someone to care about me and talk to me, help me figure myself out but i have no one who wont have anything negative to say to me, who wont judge me for doing something that i either shouldnt have done or shouldnt do, but all thats like asking for a miracle, ugh i swear sometimes i dont know whats better to live or be forgotten
I have recently started talking to the greatest person in the world (again), i am so happy to be talking to him, i dont know what i would do if i didnt, we've had our ups and downs and we've stopped talking for quite a while, but we always come back to each other, its fate, i cant wait until the day we get to be together until the end, for that i will wait as long as possible as long as i know you will be there for me always, I LOVE YOU Daniel ♥
COMMENTS
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Oceanne
14:20 Feb 25 2011
Reason? The girlfriend or wife.
HeXsHaDoW
02:03 Feb 26 2011
thats what i figure that he had a secret girlfriend and didnt want to tell me about her