The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

This week has been an interesting, intense one.



I got accepted into a college after a long process that was just surprise after surprise. I never expected to get in.



My poor father's engine died on his very well-cared for and relatively new car. While he is far away, and I am pretty much uninvolved, I feel sad and enraged on his behalf.



It was mine and my boyfriend's three-year anniversary.



Someone I thought I knew well, and who I respected and liked very much, did something completely unexpected, wrong, and illegal. She is now facing a shit-storm, and I simply don't know how to feel for her.



My tortoise, who I raised pretty much from hatchling size, and who has lived with me since I was 11, moved into his second phase of life at a wonderful farm with other tortoises his size. While I am sad to see him go, I am ecstatic about how much he'll thrive in his new desert environment. (He's a very large tortoise originating from the Sahara.)

•Computer Scrabble



•Replaying Golden Sun



•Online Crosswords



•Innocent Juice



•Brown bread toast



•Buying music on iTunes



•Finding that one sliver of sun for those fleeting few minutes before it rains (again)



•Creating (future) Oblivion characters in my head and giving them names from baby naming sites that have something to do with their character. (Boredom-induced insanity ensues...)

Food may protest being consumed while it is still alive, but only Irish sausages will cry about being eaten when already dead.



Whether they are genuinely concerned for your health and attempting to say "Noooooo, pork byproducts wrapped in skin and fried in fat is bad for you" or they are simply complaining for the sake of being heard, I'll never know.



What I do know is that upon being microwaved, they start to whine at you in such a piteous way that you almost want to take them out and comfort them.



"There there sausage. It's alright. All I'm going to do is eat you with some buttery toast and beans."

When I look back over the past year, at the way I was, I am amazed at how much I've changed. The things I obsessed over to the point of panic, the deep anxieties over every mechanical glitch in my body, it all seems so trivial now. I have emerged from a dark age of my life, and it's funny, if you had told me a year ago the story of a girl who was healed of her deeply-seeded death and illness anxieties by developing a life-changing illness, I would never have understood the reason why.



It is like having a beautifully white, empty sheet of paper. You only have the one sheet, and you are going to put something beautiful on it, but you don't know exactly what. You know it has to be marked eventually, but you are extremely guarded and obsessed and anxious about the first stroke, about the perfection of the pristinely white paper. And then, with your hand arched over the page, not entirely sure whether you will mark it or not, someone comes up behind and you knocks your hand into it, leaving a thick black mark there. It is an ugly blemish, but there is immediate release. What is done is done, no more precious white, you cannot undo it, cannot erase it. And while the mark is less than ideal, while it prevents you from drawing something as beautiful as you imagined, you have to work from it. Eventually, you will add strokes to your drawing, the structures and the curves will be formed by your hand. It is something to work at, and while you are forced to change your strategy, the change has a beauty and a value all it's own...

I could go for three things right now:



Copper River salmon

Fresh blueberries

Café Du Monde coffee with cream





That is all.

COMMENTS

-

---

imagesinwords
20:34 Aug 05 2009

Wow.. my favorites.

---

POST COMMENT

Something happened between two people I consider my friends the other day. One was clearly at fault and the other wasn't, and yet there was still great division because of a sense of "obligation."



"Of course you're right. You're always right."



It got me thinking about what I value most in a friendship. It seems as though most people, when they ask for advice, for an opinion, already have planned out what they expect to hear, and if they don't hear it from you, they become angry. They expect a blind agreement, a convenient answer, no matter what happens. Is this truly the definition of loyalty?



This, to me, is a damaging relationship.



Whether it's "Does this look good on me?" or "Do you think I did the right thing?" I always expect the truth from those who I consider my true friends.



One of the friends I admire most told me, after getting a piercing, that she thought it was unflattering. It didn't change my mind about having gotten the piercing, but I appreciated her honesty more than I can say.



The best friends I have ever had were the ones that humbled me, the ones that told me what I needed to hear, whether I wanted to or not, because they understood that it was better for me in the long-run, even if it wasn't easier to face in the short-term.



If a friend is honest with you it means that they care, not necessarily that they are deliberately trying to hurt you.



It is far easier to live and tell a convenient lie than it is a difficult truth.



Remember that any time you ask for an opinion or for advice and get an answer that you do not want to hear. Honesty makes up the fibers of loyalty, and it is a rare and valuable thing.

COMMENTS

-

---

sahahria
16:46 Aug 05 2009

And it is even greater that these wise words come from someone so young. People have often wondered the why/how of those I consider online friends. This entry is a clear indication of both, and is a rare and beautiful thing.

---

imagesinwords
21:55 Aug 05 2009

I know I am being an idiot, well... a hour or so after I've done something :P Sometimes sooner. I would hope people wouldn't be agreeing with me when I finally come to my senses and realize I was wrong- because then I'd have to question the nature of our friendship. If I've got donut on my face- PLEASE tell me, don't tell me I look great.

---

POST COMMENT