The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

9.17.05 9:45 am.



-1: Page of Cups-new social contacts....I talking with Manny right now.

-2: 5 of wands- Being intimidating....hope not...maybe

-3: Justice- Achieving a new sence of balance and harmony.

-4: Page of Swords- Don't rush into an argument.

-5: The Emperor- Struggle for personal independance.

-6: 10 of Swords- Unable to have effect on what's around me. Just go with the flow....those of you that know me know that it's hard for me to do this.

-7: 7 of Swords-making and important but worthwhile sacrifice.

-8: The Lovers- Intensity in a relationship...???? with who??? With WHO???

-9: Ace of Wands- a new intuitive.

-10: 3 of Wands- leding other's by example.

9.17.05 9:45 am.



-1: Page of Cups-new social contacts....I talking with Manny right now.

-2: 5 of wands- Being intimidating....hope not...maybe

-3: Justice- Achieving a new sence of balance and harmony.

-4: Page of Swords- Don't rush into an argument.

-5: The Emperor- Struggle for personal independance.

-6: 10 of Swords- Unable to have effect on what's around me. Just go with the flow....those of you that know me know that it's hard for me to do this.

-7: 7 of Swords-making and important but worthwhile sacrifice.

-8: The Lovers- Intensity in a relationship...???? with who??? With WHO???

-9: Ace of Wands- a new intuitive.

-10: 3 of Wands- leding other's by example.

9.17.05 9:45 am.



-1: Page of Cups-new social contacts....I talking with Manny right now.

-2: 5 of wands- Being intimidating....hope not...maybe

-3: Justice- Achieving a new sence of balance and harmony.

-4: Page of Swords- Don't rush into an argument.

-5: The Emperor- Struggle for personal independance.

-6: 10 of Swords- Unable to have effect on what's around me. Just go with the flow....those of you that know me know that it's hard for me to do this.

-7: 7 of Swords-making and important but worthwhile sacrifice.

-8: The Lovers- Intensity in a relationship...???? with who??? With WHO???

-9: Ace of Wands- a new intuitive.

-10: 3 of Wands- leding other's by example.

9.17.05 9:45 am.



-1: Page of Cups-new social contacts....I talking with Manny right now.

-2: 5 of wands- Being intimidating....hope not...maybe

-3: Justice- Achieving a new sence of balance and harmony.

-4: Page of Swords- Don't rush into an argument.

-5: The Emperor- Struggle for personal independance.

-6: 10 of Swords- Unable to have effect on what's around me. Just go with the flow....those of you that know me know that it's hard for me to do this.

-7: 7 of Swords-making and important but worthwhile sacrifice.

-8: The Lovers- Intensity in a relationship...???? with who??? With WHO???

-9: Ace of Wands- a new intuitive.

-10: 3 of Wands- leding other's by example.

9.17.05 9:45 am.



-1: Page of Cups-new social contacts....I talking with Manny right now.

-2: 5 of wands- Being intimidating....hope not...maybe

-3: Justice- Achieving a new sence of balance and harmony.

-4: Page of Swords- Don't rush into an argument.

-5: The Emperor- Struggle for personal independance.

-6: 10 of Swords- Unable to have effect on what's around me. Just go with the flow....those of you that know me know that it's hard for me to do this.

-7: 7 of Swords-making and important but worthwhile sacrifice.

-8: The Lovers- Intensity in a relationship...???? with who??? With WHO???

-9: Ace of Wands- a new intuitive.

-10: 3 of Wands- leding other's by example.

This was on my profile. but it out lived its perpose on that screen.. eitherway if you do care to read it, it's just bitching.





One little side thing that I find amusing....I've been at this site since the damn thing started...by the name of epic_defiance (deleted it) but when I first came here there was only 6 people in the whole damn site and now that I've been here I see the same thing over and over.....death, "pity me", over-obsession over anything dark people can get there hands on. Also the misconseption of the real reasoning behind the pentagle. It is a Pagan symbol for protection. Nothing "evil" or any of that shit. but that's not what I wanted to stress on it's the constant bullshit of oh pitty me and my life I'll be dark and pick a dark sounding name just to be "different" I'm sorry if this is bitchy...no I'm not saying that I'm all sunshine...but people now a days really need a variety not the same old "being dark" thing....I know, I know VAMPIRErave.com but that doesn't mean that you should TRY and be depressed as dark sounding most of the time people just can't pull it off. Well whatever....sorry for the bitch but I understand it's your profile you can do almost whatever you want..just like this is my profile and page I can almost say and do whatever I want...hopefully this doesn't piss people off but if it did I say "so be it."

[ mood | comfortable. ]

[ music | Offspring....Gotta get away. ]



wow yes it is 8 in the morning...What am I doing up at this time instead of sleeping untill 45 till I have to be at work so I have to scramble to get there on time? Well I fell asleep early. That and I can't go back to sleep so I might as well. Well anywhom. Today should be interesting. Atfer work...I get done at around 4:00. But afterward my Father will be picking me up and we are going into Altoona to get some pot. He's still looking for shrooms for me. He invited me and some friends to come over to his house when I do them. He just wants to laugh his ass off as me. Afterward he's taking me to Pure Pleasures to buy me a "real" pipe. He told me he wants to buy me my first "real" pipe. okay...?.. Last night my Father and I had a real big conversation about us doing pot. It was kinda funny. Because how bad does that sound...."yeah I get pot from my daughter's dealer." I laughed at it.



eitherway the college I want to get into is going to coast me 11,000 a semester. jessus fuck.



Tarot reading.. (this one is kinda older.)

61 9.10.05 6:06pm.

-1: Page of Cups- new socail contacts

-2: Knight of Swords- the balance of power is in my favor.

-3: 4 of Cups- Reaching out for new friendships.

-4: 9 of Wands- take down my barriers. let other people support me....fuck no.

-5: The Fool- a new chapter opening in one's life. Origonality. Eccentricity.

-6: 6 of Coins- Want to be generous, but the NEED to be more discriminating.

-7: Knight of Coins- a MAle who wants to develope a work side to life....true.

-8: 7 of Swords- making an important but worthwhile sacrifice.

-9: The Sun- growth and harmonious development in all aspects on life..I get this a lot.

-10: The Emperor- Struggle for personal independance.



I get a lot of them that deals with my being a male.

[ mood | I'm just here and it's great! ]

[ music | Sublime...date rape story. ]



So I haven't gone to school for the past three days because of Migranes. Today I was literly bed ridden because it got so bad. So I'm hoping things get better so I can go to work tomarrow. They put me on another pain med that's a mix of Codine (that shit makes me tired and gets me high in a bad way) and Vikiden..(can't spell) that shit is nasty anyway. They had to take my blood on Thursday..that sucked they fucking stuck the needle in one arm and couldn't get shit so they had to take from the other arm. Also I was in the dr.'s office and they had to shut the lights off so I could sleep on the hard bed. My Step Father also decided that I need a chaparone while I was in there even when I had to take off my shirt and shit and put the nightgown on. That really annoyed me. Yeah more good news...my liver, kidneys, and spleen are still swollen and actually my spleen has actually gotten bigger so I have more shoulder pain since it's jamming into my diafram and I feel the pain in my left shoulder, left arm, and upper back.....anyways....



so I just found this book that my Father has right next to the rabbit cage called "Sacred cows make the best burgers".....maybe it's just me and I'm really easily amused. hmm....



My Tarot reading...

entry 60... 9.8.05 9:37pm

-1: King of cups- an emotionally sensitive male... I'm transgender..no shit.

-2: Ace of wands- a new intuitive.

-3: 2 of cups- a new relationship starting of a new phase in an exsisting one.

-4: The High Priestess- being guided by my intuition... it's a great feeling.

-5: 6 of swords- clearing away of negative energies to make way for more positive influences.

-6: Ace of swords- breakthrough.

-7: The tower- the need to estabolish a strong foundation.

-8: Page of swords- don't rush into battle.

-9: Kight of wands- Dynamic MALE energy... go figure.

-10: 9 of swords- Isolation. The need to open up new channels of communication and contact with others.... okay..



I'll be posting more tarot readins in the spell entries catagory.

[ mood | frustrated ]

[ music | I killed the prom Queen...my best wishes. ]



As soon as I talk to Sami's parents I'm moving in...that and I need to find a working car.



I haven't felt like myself latly.



My Mother admitted to tearing up one of my books.



It's not fair to anyone else.. I'll just get rid of it entirly.



This is pathetic.