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dreams i had last night.



first of all there is 3 parts, they aren’t connected but i remember these specific details. The first dream i was in a sweet shop and i was buying loads of sweets, and by the time i got one or two of everything i wanted there was loads of the stuff, but then i noticed i didn’t have any money, so i was talking to shopkeeper trying to charm my way out of paying and she was helping me decide which sweets to keep and which ones to put back, was weird. I remember wanting a chocolate scorpion and a little mini doughnut.



second dream thing is i was in some weird forest somewhere and i just suddenly knew i had to be somewhere else, so i travelled really far for ages, don’t know how i just remember the sensation of moving, anyway when i got to where i had to be it was on these cliffs with loads of trees on them and it was by the sea, and it was really dark and stormy and the trees were almost blown over, lots of noise, and on the rocks of the beach was my ex and she was telling me she was going to kill herself and i was trying to stop her, i don’t remember many details other then that but i do remember the storm, was very violent and loud.



Third part is where it gets weird, in this dream i was dead, not undead, not a zombie, not a vampire, nothing like that i was dead, i was a corpse. Except I could think and move and all the usual stuff, but i knew i was dead and my mam and dad knew I was dead, anyway, in the dream i was being a real pain in the ass and i was having a fight with mam and dad and i kept rubbing in the fact that i was dead, so after the fight this woman comes into the house. Before she sees me I go under some water and I stop breathing, because I’m dead already it doesn’t bother me but she sees me and goes mad and when she gets close to me i jump out of the water really fast and she is terrified, so i start moving towards her knowing that the closer i get the more terrified she is, and i get really sadistic and start making weird growling noises like an animal only deeper and more demon like, so she is almost dead from the fright and i just keep scaring her, and the more i do this the more i enjoy hurting her but the anger i get at the fact i am dead, until i get really violent and start smashing stuff up and I’m really strong and i break down walls and throw people around and i just start shouting but me shouting sounds like breaking rock and tearing steel, then i woke up.

I dont have classes for another two weeks, yet every morning i get out of bed before 10am, having gone to bed at about 6am. I could go to bed at 12 and still not sleep until about 6 but lately i havent been able to stay still. I have no idea how im going to react once classes start up and i have to face the bus ride into town every morning after a night on 3 hours sleep. I know that i am not at the worst i have ever been, and i know that this situation is different to before, but i also know that although it is different it will have the same results and i really dont want to do that all over again, mental instability is such a burden. I have also been suffering a slump in both physical activity as well as mental....

I have no idea why I’m really writing this I don’t care if anyone reads it, there is no reason behind it, I have no great message to share with any reader. I suppose this is just an excuse to talk to myself about the things that are usually buzzing around my head blocking all other thoughts making it impossible for me to go outside, making it seem like my skull is being pushed open from inside. Or then again maybe it is just some stupid desperate attempt to gain attention, who knows.