The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Disclaimer: This is not a conversation
05:44 Feb 28 2007
Times Read: 1,023








I am sick and tired of watching Tv adverts and having warnings flashing at me.



There is one car ad and it says:



"Not a real car, computer representation"



In this advert a shark swims out of a fucking window and puts fins on the car. I mean really, do I have to be told that this isn’t real? Seriously.



Then there are ads where something simple happens, like someone falls over and I am treated to a disclaimer stating that what has happened, happened on:



"Closed course, stunt professional"





Are people really so retarded that they have to be told what they are seeing is not real?



If people are that dangerously stupid they should be locked away for their own safety before they try and start talking to their breakfast.

I'm a peanut.
02:54 Feb 26 2007
Times Read: 1,049










Pssst, click the pic

Chain of command.
07:09 Feb 20 2007
Times Read: 1,076




Colonel



Leaps over tall building in a single bound

More powerful than a locomotive

Faster than a speeding bullet

Walks on water

Gives policy to God







Major



Leaps over small building

More powerful than a steam engine

Fast as a speeding bullet

Walks on water when sea is calm

Talks to God







Captain



Runs around small building

Can spell locomotive

Imitates a speeding bullet

Is a world class ice skater

Relies on God







2nd Lieutenant



Runs into small building

Recognizes a locomotive

Jogs occasionally

Learning to swim

Prays often







Sergeant



Lifts up tall buildings and walks under them

Kicks locomotives off tracks

Catches speeding bullets in his teeth

Freezes water with a single stare

Is GOD!

And i likes me this baby.
05:53 Feb 20 2007
Times Read: 1,081

Back in style.
21:21 Feb 08 2007
Times Read: 1,145

Well its been a while since i last wrote in here so i hope this makes up for the long wait.

I saw this walking through the streets of Seattle while i was with flannery on her model shoot thingy day.



Now if only it was animated and could talk, i imagine it hocking 10ft loogies on people and then telling them that:



"We have two forms of ID, Suck them both".