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Phelox tells me his friend is coming over today. Says he'll still text me.



I get on my first break and he starts ignoring me. Tells me nothing is wrong, and when I push he says he'll tell me later.



After I get done flipping the fuck out, my next break he says we're still good and to calm down. K. Done. Haven't heard from him since.



I think I got ditched. I understand if he's got company and is hanging out with them, I told him I didn't mind. But you can't tell me you'll text me and then literally just vanish.



I think he doesn't want to appear a softy to his friend.



Ironically, I tell him when he first comes here my parents won't know I'm going to see him. His fucking response was: "I don't like lying". Funny...seems to be what he's doing right fucking now.



Today has been fucking hell.

So. I'm trying to get ahold of Phelox's ex-roommate, who is the key witness to his trial. She's been online twice and won't respond, so I'm a little worried.



That little fucker Jake, sends me the text, "He's going to lose the trial you know?"



This little fuck, once again, has bullshit going on with his name, in three states. He also sleeps around like a used pocket pussy, with drunk fucks apparently every few days. With this in mind, I want you to think for a second. This bitch, went to Phelox in the hospital, and called ME a slut.



So I ripped him a new hole for his drunk buddies to fill.



Don't fucking talk shit to me. Don't talk shit about me. And don't ever fucking threaten him.

Well. He's saving up for a house here, so he can't go out and buy a ring yet, and because of the situation, we haven't officially met yet...but he says he's going to marry me. I'm calling it an "unofficial engagement".



This man...has won my heart over...in every sense of the statement. I think about him constantly. Just the thought of holding his hand is enough to bring my day from shit to greatness. We love talking to each other...it doesn't feel forced to think of things to talk about. He's the fucking sweetest, too...he constantly has me tearing up with the stuff he tells me...



Some may say this is stupid. That I'm rushing things, that I don't know what I'm doing. First of all, suck a dick. It's a given. Secondly...my parents don't know I'm dating him. They won't accept that I'm into men because, haha, they are afraid of how it will reflect on them. "Bad parenting" if the kid comes out less than par on societies standards, I guess. But ironically, I'M the one being selfish. Fuck me for wanting to be myself, right?



Anyway. Once they find out, I'm gone. They won't have it. I'll have to move out, which would be a good thing anyway. And I would rather move in with someone I feel I've fallen head over heels for, over someone who I think might be someone I could find interest in. In other words...I may not know what love is according to some people but I feel I'm making a safe bet that I've found it.



I don't find many guys attractive. It's odd...haha, the ugly kid being picky. But Phelox (pronounced Felix), oh my god. Hahaha, fuck is he gorgeous. I about died when he sent his first picture to me...he's got the cutest lips. And a jawline I want to peck at till I reach a neck or earlobe...tasty. As. Fuck.



He's got a trial on the 16th...in which if he loses he goes to jail for 5 years. Before we met, he got caught with drugs. He was in a bad spot...but he's better (as far as I know, and I trust him) since we met. Anyway...he was in the hospital from the beginning of February to March 21st. He was SUPPOSED to be in till the 28th, but...well. A friend, his old roommate to be exact...came down to see him. She brought a guy named Jake with her, which was the worst idea. They apparently have a bad history. Now...I have only talked to this Jake guy maybe twice, and that was to talk to the old roommate, since she can't text on her phone. And apparently...he gets into Phelox' room and starts calling me a slut and a bitch and everything else. So Phelox decked his ass.



This, was his...I believe he said it was his second situation of fighting while on probation and house arrest. So...if he loses, jail for 5 years, no bail or parole. But his argument is good. He was on several types of medication, all with different side effects. Plus Jake provoked him, and Phelox told him to stop several times. On top of that, Jake has been avoiding more than 3 different states for several different reasons, all of which involve the cops. So...his argument looks good. I don't know what I'll do if I lose him...I really don't.



...so there's all that. I'm done typin' now. Engaged...wooooo. Haha.