The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Something was lost rather recently. Perhaps not too recent, but recent enough. Perhaps it was longer than recent, and I'm just now realizing such things. I think I've noticed for a while. But maybe I was pushing it to the back of my "things to do". I've fallen down this black hole and the way out seems so incredibly far away. How do I continue to even breathe in such an atmosphere of chaos and loss? I need to find it. To get it back as it is surely mine. I've been disconnected from everything for so long or so it seems. The nights I spent that were not sober have kept me from truths. And yet, brought the ideas of truth back to my mind. Complicated? Indeed. I think I know what I must do.. Take a trip back to the other side. Where I can lay my hands in the grassy fields and my eyes burning with a thousand suns. Worship in my own way. Solitude. I can find my way back to the life I once lead that was once content and knowledgable. I've made the mistakes of walking astray. The Goddesses call to me.. The Moon still holds that sacred meaning to me as it always did.

I feel as if I should escape. But then again, how can I? Everytime I push away, it only seems to pull me closer. Bound in chains, in sumbmission to this life that torments my mind so horridly. Should I vanish from sight and sound once more? Take a break from this so called "reality". It's been on my mind lately. To disappear for months at a time Again would be..ridiculous. But perhaps it is what I need. Perhaps. The nightmares keep coming. Flooding my mind like a river that has no end. I wake up screaming sometimes. The cold sweat brushed upon my face.. It's all a reminder that the nightmares were once real. I think it's time I turn to the Alter and give myself up once again..