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Now In Previous Mentioned Journal Entries...You Will Probably See The Aspects of The Men That I think are adorable but theres been one that I have made out with on quite numerous amounts of occasions...Now as per talking On Aim last night he finally has the balls to ask me out!!!! Saying basically Hey do ya want to go out to dinner sometime????? Im like Oh its finally taken you a fucking year to ask me out to dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRR

Now Why Do I Think This???? Due To My Recent Discovery That My Own Sister Found Someone Decent AND I HAVENT!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRR All I Want Is Someone To Have And To Hold And Call All My Own!!! *sighs*

Ok First Of All Is Merry Fucking Christmas!!! :D...... My Sister Flew In From Chicago Today...YAY!!! I haven't seen her in 2 years...so its kind of nice to see her...but in my current state...it blows....Damn HIM!!! DAMN HIM TO THE MOST FIREY DEPTHS OF HELL!!!!



But Helena Loves Her Daddy...No Matter how much of a dick he is....



Daire makes me laugh....do to the Spastic lesbian comment that he makes in his journal....



:D

This is my conversation with a certin Admin who I have the Hots for...Yes It's Daire...*Blushes* Now there may be some suggestive things in this conversation...so Children under the age of 18!!! look away!!!!! Look There's Flufffy Bunnies!!!!!





Daire (7:48:00 PM): Answer what?

melanie_crosby2003 (7:48:16 PM): never mind...i answered it in Pms last night...

Daire (7:48:22 PM): ok.

melanie_crosby2003 (7:48:42 PM): anyways how are you hon

Daire (7:48:51 PM): meh

melanie_crosby2003 (7:49:01 PM): what happened?

Daire (7:49:19 PM): nothing dont feel 100%

melanie_crosby2003 (7:49:44 PM): awww im sorry...*hugs&

melanie_crosby2003 (7:50:08 PM): take some drugs

Daire (7:50:16 PM): nothing is wrong with me

Daire (7:50:20 PM): drugs wont help

melanie_crosby2003 (7:50:41 PM): hows the photography going

Daire (7:50:50 PM): its not

Daire (7:50:51 PM): xmas

melanie_crosby2003 (7:51:01 PM):

melanie_crosby2003 (7:51:13 PM): damn u should take some pretty xmas pix

Daire (7:51:18 PM): nah

melanie_crosby2003 (7:51:44 PM): please??? ill take some cute xmas pix of me dressed as batman

Daire (7:51:55 PM): lol

melanie_crosby2003 (7:52:19 PM): u think im joking

Daire (7:52:34 PM): Why would i want to see you dressed as batman?

Daire (7:52:36 PM): i like batman?

melanie_crosby2003 (7:53:12 PM): cause im hot

melanie_crosby2003 (7:53:13 PM):

melanie_crosby2003 (7:53:20 PM): and I look damn good in spandex

Daire (7:53:24 PM): lol

melanie_crosby2003 (7:53:35 PM): see im making u laugh

Daire (7:53:51 PM): you are making me say lol

melanie_crosby2003 (7:54:02 PM): which means ur Laughing out loud

Daire (7:54:11 PM): i know what it means

Daire (7:54:18 PM): but its just an answer you give when nothing else will do

melanie_crosby2003 (7:54:27 PM): Grrr

melanie_crosby2003 (7:54:43 PM): Daire you confuse me sometimes...but you're still cute

Daire (7:54:48 PM): ok.

melanie_crosby2003 (7:55:22 PM): talk to me...make me smile

Daire (7:55:33 PM): im not really in a very talky mood

melanie_crosby2003 (7:55:51 PM): smile

Daire (7:55:59 PM): im not much of a smiler either

melanie_crosby2003 (7:56:25 PM):

melanie_crosby2003 (7:59:04 PM): what can i do then to make u feel better

Daire (7:59:14 PM): hardcore webcam porn show

melanie_crosby2003 (7:59:29 PM): why??? not from me...im fat remember

Daire (7:59:37 PM): lol

melanie_crosby2003 (8:00:20 PM): damn i love my new avatir

melanie_crosby2003 (8:00:23 PM): avatar

Daire (8:00:27 PM): why

melanie_crosby2003 (8:00:36 PM): cause its my stupid shirt

Daire (8:00:44 PM): I cant see anything on yahoo yet

melanie_crosby2003 (8:00:45 PM): the shirt says Im not with stupid anymore

Daire (8:00:56 PM): lol

melanie_crosby2003 (8:02:16 PM): which of my pix is your fav?

Daire (8:02:39 PM): The one where you look like the vampire from the latest masquerade game.

melanie_crosby2003 (8:03:07 PM): ahh my school girl pic

melanie_crosby2003 (8:03:22 PM): why does everyone think thats hot?

Daire (8:03:55 PM): i just like the image

melanie_crosby2003 (8:04:39 PM): u have to have a reason that u think its hot

Daire (8:05:01 PM): no i dont think in terms of "hott"

melanie_crosby2003 (8:07:07 PM): ok there has to be a reason why u like the image

Daire (8:07:19 PM): It reminds me of the game

melanie_crosby2003 (8:08:05 PM): ahhh

Shit I don't know if I spelled that right tonight... The Grammer NAZI is coming to get me...(That would be Khay and Jason) They're so cute together and little Jackson....AWWW happy family...then of course Daire... and his lovely Journal posts...that make me want to kill over dead cause they're so FUCKING Funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still pondering if I go to Burning Man next year.....I need help with this decision...Now its time for the Pregnant Woman to go go sleepy nite nite land!!! WEEEEE

Now incase this is news to everyone....I have a big thing for Daire...The reason being is that hes smart and funny and he just makes me laugh...now laughter from him is a silly laugh...especially the laughter about the whole seizure from the pokemon episode from back in the day!!!!! HEH!! plus the whole picture of him in the VR Calander *drools* It's very yummy....now im going back to my sinster evil laughter....

This Is How I Reallly Feel Now.....Cause I Can't Deal With It...It's From The Show Rent......Granted This Is Not The Exact Way It Is In the Show....I Changed The Last Line To Reflect My Life.....



You Don't Want Baggage With Out Lifetime Guarantees

You Don't Want To Watch Me Die

I Just Came To Say Goodbye Love, Goodbye Love, Came To Say Goodbye Love Goodbye

Just Came To Say Goodbye Love, Goodbye Love

Goodbye Love Goodbye



Please Don't Touch Me Understand Im Scared..

I Need To Go Away.... (I Know A Place...A Clinic Maybe...I'll Pay)



Goodbye Love, Goodbye Love, Came to say Goodbye Love...Goodbye....

Just Came To Say Goodbye Love, Goodbye Love..

Goodbye love.....

Hello Mommy........





My Life Has Been Turned Into A Downward Sprial Since This Pregnancy Started....Dah...I'm Going To Leave This Entry At That....

Even Though That The Idiot Lame Dumb Fuck Is Gone Off Of VR And Has Made My Life A Hell Of A Lot More Simple.....And To Find Out Shit Is Really Funny!!!! Now This Girl Who Was So Called In Love With The Idiot Dumb Fuck Basically Kicked Him Out Of Her Hotel Room After I Left!!! AHAHA....The Reason Why I Laugh At Is...Is Because He Got Sex Every Single Night From Me!!!!!! Whenever He Wanted It...He Got It....Ok And When 2 Count Them 2 Women Deny Him...Only About 2 Weeks After I Leave?????? I Find It Hysterically Funny....That Now He Hasn't Been Fucked In Over 4 Months....And He Can't Even Get It From A Girl Who's Uglier Than I AM!!!! I SO WANT TO LAUGH IN HIS FACE!!!!!

Geezus it seems like VR is the place to meet alot of women or men as some cases may be....I met my ex on here and hell i have the best part of that relationship in my stomach.....:D....Good Lord it seems like every relationship that people want to start I end up playing Shrink for....GAH!@!!!!!!!!! Damn it damn it damn it.....why do I always have to be the blunt honest one??? why can't I hide my feelings like other people!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR

Will I Lose My Dignity??? Will Someone Care???

Will I Wake Tommorow From This Nightmare????

Why is it that every single fucking time I see a sappy movie I think of my daughter and how much I want a father for her......I've always wanted my child or Children have a mommy and daddy...and I thought that I found it...and when I got pregnant I was the happiest person in the world and I still am...but theres always this what if??? what if I never find the person I've been searching for since I was 15.....Mom was right...no one woman is meant for no one man....my mom was lucky enough to find my dad....Im starting to feel things for someone that I shouldnt cause I don't want to get hurt again.....and He knows who he is......I care to much about my daughter and how much I hurt and I dont want to have to explain to her that Daddy didnt love her or me enough to take care of us....plus this person who im feeling things for is in the military and I dont want to have to hear from someone that he was killed in the line of duty....I know its their job to protect us...but to die to protect me is something I couldnt begin to live with...especially someone I care for very much......Hell It made me think of if I wouldve went into the Military and my parents had to get that bad news...I know it would kill my mother and my father to have to bury their youngest daughter.....excuse me while I go bash my head against a wall and eat myself into fatness....

Now Why Do People Honestly Think That Im Going To Take Their Suggestions As To Names...And For The Other Fact That Im 21 Now And I Can't Have Alcohol!!! GRRRRRRR