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so tonight Jeremy got way drunk after the superbowl...he called me at like 9 something and didn't know where he was..he was in his truck somewhere....he lives 5 1/2 hours north from me...and it was the most god awful feeling that I couldn't help him...

we are not together anymore...but I still am madly in love with him.... am I a fool??? can I move on...right now I say no... its so hard ... I hear his ring tone when he calls and I still get goosebumps...we were together for almost 3 years and weve been friends for 6 and still....I can't stop thinking about him ...



I feel like I've lost my second half...even though he still tells me he is in love with me... he needs to be happy...

but I need to worry about myself and not if we are going to get back together ....

maybe I should go on a date... id totally suck at it...im too big of a nerd to date.... dating is for those flawless girls who date like 15 different men at a time. hahah that obviously isn't me....

im so afraid to live still.... sheesh... its pathetic...

thanks for listening journal.

COMMENTS

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lavisbre
05:13 Mar 01 2008

id get out there n date flower



next time im in your area were going out ;-)

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hehe. so today I had a horrible headache...I took some pills and fell asleep...I just woke up and went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror...and good lord... im pretty damn sexy... I know that sounds arrogant but my self esteem has been extremely low my whole life and now I can truly say im a foxy little minx! I don't know what it was... I was standing there in my bra and underwear... and sheesh... maybe its the pills I took...so girls what do we do when we feel sexy? well I dunno about all females but I dance... not my usual joking around shaking my ass dance ...but dance... my erotic strip club dancing that only jeremy has seen... I do it from time to time... its a good work out.. so now im sweaty and beyond horny... if you read my last journal you already know what is going to happen next.



but before that I will leave you with good news...tomorrow im going to disneyland with my mum and grandmummsie!!! yay!