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Sitting here talking with a friend they said that they were distraught over their mate leaving, or possibly leaving. I wondered why? Do we have to have someone else to make us feel whole. Is that a concept that has been given to us by others? Why do we have to feel like we need others to validate our happieness and who we are? Is it just something we have been programed with or is it a basiest need?

This, a previous log that I had saved.....



Light that is the Dark 2004-04-10 14:08:28

On the brink of something, fading fast like a dream. Missing the point to tell you I fall into the impulses of my life. What is to love? The warm comforting feeling of being in someones presence? The sacrifices you make for them?

The touch, passion fire when you are intimate? To give yourself over wholly to be enjoyed by another. Love. And to take someone

wholly enjoy them. Does this exist? Is it just out of the grasp of some while others find it and cherish it or throw it away?

It seems that this wonderful, life altering feeling can put in the pit of hell once it is through with you. And so the light of Love becomes the dark. Would you give yourself over wholly? To love or anyone who would portray it. What lengths would you go to to keep it? The ends of the earth? For love does surly bring you into its light but, if that light is not fed darkeness comes

on swift wings.

"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief..."

Romeo and Juliet...

For possibly most of my life I have tried to figure out what love is. Jesus taught us that it was sacrifice. Sacrifice of ones self for others. My grandfather taught me that love was of the flesh, he didn't teach me anything more than that. And, I have truly thought on it, with heart, soul, and mind. I have lived as if it were sacrifice...but I have given it as the flesh as well. It seems that the giving is the point...if you love something, someone you will give. To what ends is what you choose. Is this the measure of love? I still don't know to this day, I still watch and listen and feel...but I know that it is comfort too. The comfort of others, the comfort within ones self. This is my version of Love.