The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

everything is turning in a new direction for me, and it seems to be going a lot easier than i imagined. i cant think of just where its going to lead me though... there are countless directions in which to turn, and anything could make me spin out of control again.

but, now that im following a tangible being, and not something i only dream about, i think i can find my way. im eternally grateful to them, and i hope they dont dissapear like everything does, when it feels like a dream come true.....

i cant.... i know it, you know it, they know it...

we all know i cant see the reality.... i can never see it... somehow, everything seems like it will just fade out to blackness when i stop feeling, like a dream passing to waking...

but i know i wont wake... you dont know why, and neither do they.... i myself dont even know...

i only know this doesnt feel real... nothing ever does anymore... no one is ever there, until i try not to be, not to be here.... like they only care to let me suffer or something, but hey i dont know so i guess i can just float from place to place in my mind, running from all the realitlies that i fear.... this paranoia and solitude is really getting to me in an unhealthy way....